The cast of my dreams change their skins
to fool me
Walkng, talking, living
as the borrowed heads upon their shoulders
but I scratch the surface
and find a different animal beneath
dreaming I’m betraying you now
with another man
but the other man is not the other man
and you are not you
here I am, reliving a past betrayal
and here you are hurting me
with words, with fists
but you are that older lover
who took such delight in my flesh
that he could not bear but rip it
and always daddy returns
in different disguise
hiding inside my mother, my sister
he’s inside me -
I cannot breathe -
and I’m hurting my son
making him to do things I was made to do -
Got to get daddy out of me, got to cut him right out -
Blood
Blood in my mouth
Blood on my clothes
Blood on the sheets
Making for the surface of the dream
huge strokes but my arms leaden
broaching the surface like a whale
and gasping in the air, the reality
You make me coffee and a cigarette
“It’s just a dream”
But in there somewhere
is a part of me that’s still
naked bent over the stool in daddy’s workshop
waiting for his hands
he wearing his face
I in mine
(2004)
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