This started off as a humourous attempt to depict the “PMS Monster” which visits me every month. But after a couple of experimentations with texture on the Creeper, a little change in lighting and in expressions, and I realised it was starting to look a lot like something that used to ride me, something called “The Captain”.
The Captain was a frequent visitor for a long time, my way of externalising my self-hatred; the little voice inside me that constantly nagged at me, You’re useless, you’re ugly, you’re a slag, you’re a fat freak with no friends, you’ll never amount to anything, manipulative bitch, what do want, a medal? why is she pretending to like you, she wants something, she must do, they all do…
It took me a long time to learn to answer back to The Captain, and even longer to ignore him; longer still to get him off my damn shoulder and locked up in a cage where he belongs. But he’s a persistent little bugger, and sometimes he comes back.
Dedicated to all those with their own captains. Long may we be free of them…
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